Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts

Saturday, January 4, 2014

The 2013 Roller Coaster and Hope for 2014

Last year (2013) was a bit of a roller coaster.  It started and ended a bit rocky but had a fantastic middle.  The year began with my divorce.  I then enjoyed the healthiest several months of my entire adult life.  My strength and endurance improved so much that I was able to start exercising (in a limited fashion) again.  I was happy and healthy.  I could easily do things I hadn't done much of in years -- I went out with friends.  I took long walks.  I traveled.  I went dancing.  The most amazing part is that I did all these things without a major crash. 

Unfortunately, my good health decided to take a sabbatical around October.  It started with strep throat and a round of antibiotics.  Then I caught a nasty cold with a cough so bad it required codeine cough medicine (not as fun as you might think) just so I could sleep through the night.  I got another strep infection -- this time it was much worse with a higher fever and more swelling, pain, and puss on the tonsils (yum!) -- and went on another round of antibiotics.

At some point I managed to catch a case of bacterial pinkeye (which required antibiotic drops) and another strep infection (and more antibiotics), though I suspect it was the same strep infection all along that was not getting fully cured with the antibiotics.  Finally, I ended 2013 with not one but TWO urinary tract infections, each of which required a round of antibiotics.  To make these last few months even more enjoyable, I suffered from multiple cases of diarrhea and yeast infections due to all the antibiotics (despite taking high doses of probiotics).  Fun times.  

Whew! In case you weren't counting, I was on six different antibiotics from October through December. 

On the bright side, I have not lost too much of my strength and have still been able to keep active.  On the down side, I'm concerned about the toll the antibiotics have taken on my body, and I'm worried about my immune system and why it decided to fail me so much at the end of the year.  Was I just unlucky?  Was I doing too much and pushing my body too hard?  Or is there something else going on that I need to be concerned about?

I'll be making an appointment with my rheumatologist soon.

Looking back at 2013, I have to say that the great improvement in my health and quality of life thanks in large part to the CoQ10 and Plaquenil made it a good year overall.  The rocky patches were undoubtedly rough and extremely unpleasant, but I've come through relatively unscathed. 

I finished my last round of antibiotics a few days ago.  As of this moment, as far as I know, I don't have any infections (bacterial, yeast, or otherwise) and feel generally fine other than a headache.  I'll consider this a good start to 2014.  It's the little things, right?

I've got hope that 2014 will be a good year for me.  I hope it's a good one for you, too! 

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Giant Potholes in the Road of Life

There is a road not far from my house that has the worst potholes in the world. I'm talking about jaw-breaking, brain-rattling caverns that shock me every time I drive over them. Even though I try to avoid them, they are impossible to miss. The funny thing is that the road is in a really nice area with beautiful trees and charming homes.

Okay, maybe I'm overstating the size of the potholes...a little.

To outsiders my life appears perfectly lovely. I have a supportive family, a great job, a cute cat, a home, and look healthy on the outside. The reality is that I've hit a giant pothole in my personal life, which has shaken me to the core.

My husband and I recently divorced.

We separated a few months ago, and the divorce was finalized last month. When I got married in 2005, the D-word was never an option for me. I believed I would spend the rest of my life with this man. I would get healthy, and then we would have children and grow old together.

We were supposed to grow old together.

Unfortunately, the odds were against us. From what I've read, the divorce rate for people with chronic illness is higher than that of healthy people. My husband also brought his own mental and physical issues to the marriage, which compounded our challenges.

Suffice it to say our marriage is over.

What makes the timing of the demise of our marriage so much more painful is that I'm the healthiest I've been in a very long time (I'll write about it in a future post), our careers were going well, and we were finally reaching a point where we didn't have to worry as much about our finances. The future was looking bright.

Unfortunately, the future I envisioned for myself is gone.

I'm now in the process of regrouping and dealing with my grief. I'm seeing a psychologist to sort through everything, my family has been amazingly supportive, and I'm taking care of myself. I think I've been doing quite well under the circumstances, though I'm not entirely sure how much is denial and how much is me actually handling things.

Only time will tell, I suppose.

My mom bought me a magnet that I keep prominently featured on my refrigerator so that I see it every day. It says:
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. ~Anonymous

What's great about the road with the terrible potholes is that once I get through the really rough patch, there is a stretch of freshly repaired road. There are no potholes in that area, and it's a smooth drive for a while.

I'm looking forward to the next smooth part of my Road of Life. For now, however, I'm working on getting past this darn pothole.